The Epson Perfection V700 image scanner provides high-resolution (6400dpi) scans with 16-bit per channel resolution. It works quite well with SANE (at least with xsane, other programs seemed to have some issues, and the viewer window in xsane itself is perpetually black). Scanning is surprisingly quiet compared to previous experience and quality quite good. It comes with additional holders for 35mm film, medium format, and slides.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!